I realize that my hair is mayhaps less than desirable to many ladies out there. It’s dyed white/platinum blonde, the upkeep is intense, and I wouldn’t exactly call it “Jermack bounce back, beautiful hair” as I once did when I was young and had long lustrous brunette hair and enjoyed my Jermack products enough (and, admittedly, was dorky enough) to constantly pretend I was doing my own commercial. As such, I’m not exactly a spokesperson for “natural” hair. But what is WITH the Utah Tease hair do?
If you’ve never had the distinct pleasure of seeing this delightful breed of hair, allow me to explain. Everything starts out fine in the front – usually some sort of swooping action with the bangs. Hair is straight. Lengths vary, but one thing is the same – the masterful bird’s nest that was skillfully teased into existence atop the crown of the girl’s head….reaching heights averaging roughly 4 inches above natural level. The nest is covered with a fine sheath of straight hair – imagine a waterfall flowing over the rocks beneath. You still see the rocks underneath the water, right? Likewise, ladies, the problem is that we all know what’s hiding up under there, and we all know it’s not a naturally sloped skull. Look, I get it, we all want that height and volume - Lord knows I was always looking for a way to get it with my fine virgin-hair back in the day – but unless you’re willing to go the bleaching route whereby your hair will just naturally start folding in on itself and hating you like mine does me and has no choice but to be a nest atop my crown, please do us all a favor and give your poor hair a break.
2 comments:
Don't forget that that Utah "do" also is accompainied by the Utah "color" - which is consistently light on top, dark underneath. It's like looking at cloned sheep...only with bad hair.
hahahaha!! yes, i was going to include that, actually, but i thought i'd give the poor sheep a break. thanks for mentioning it for me.
Post a Comment